My last Mother's Day as a non-mother didn't really register. I can't put my finger on why exactly. Lately I've spent a lot of time thinking about how much emphasis is put on pregnancy and, later, labor and how easy it is to be unprepared for the actual parenting part because you're so caught up in researching the former.
Granted getting this kid out of me does seem like a really big deal right now and I really want to have a satisfying labor experience. And I want so badly for the end result to be a healthy baby (who I'm already in love with) placed on my chest, eye-to-eye contact. The hard part is truly understanding that from that point forward, your work is cut out for you and there's absolutely no turning back.
Right now I'm trying to get used to this idea in simplified terms. I've been tired a lot lately because I haven't been sleeping well due to back pain, heartburn, etc. Every night I think, "maybe tonight I'll finally feel rested." But I'm forcing myself to come to terms with the reality that it's entirely possible I may feel tired like this right up until I give birth. And, thereafter? Pure exhaustion will be the special of the day - everyday.
I can only assume that you get through it because you've never loved so much or felt so scared of f*ing up!
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