I'm neglecting this blog! I feel guilty! But I need to figure out whether it's sustainable for me to continue posting once I return to work in just 2.5 short weeks! Certainly there are things I have to stay still! The questions is will I say them here?
Maternity leave has been WONDERFUL! It has been the most precious time of my life. I will always cherish the time I was able to spend with our daughter when she was so tiny! A big thank you to Matt for working extra hard to allow me extra time at home. It's his turn now! I can't wait to hear about his adventures with Olive over the course of the next 1.5 months.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Someone's a show off!
Olive decided she would roll over for the first time on her 3 month birthday!!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The ever-evolving life of Olive
Olive's most recent growth spurt has ended! She's now in the 75th percentile for weight! :) Last Thursday she weighed in at 11.5 pounds. She's almost doubled her birth weight. Amazing! She's completely average (50th percentile) in all other arenas including head circumfrence and height.
Olive is also sleeping like a champ (for now). Last night I experienced 8.5 blissful hours of uninterrupted sleep. The strange thing about getting good sleep is that I feel exhausted in the morning. I think I had trained my body to get by on a lot less. I've learned in my parenting group that sleep often falls apart around 12 weeks. That gives me up to another 1.5 weeks to pretend these sleep filled nights will never end. :)
Matt's parents have been here since last Thursday. It's been wonderful seeing them with Olive. Deborah has been dominating Dan for Olive time. :) They're still deciding what they want to be called. Last night it was suggested (by me) that Deb go by GaGa. GaGa Garson has a nice ring to it. Not to be outdone, Dan began considering the name Ziggy, which is sort of similar to the Yiddish word for grandfather, Zeidy. The jury is still out on that one!
Olive is also sleeping like a champ (for now). Last night I experienced 8.5 blissful hours of uninterrupted sleep. The strange thing about getting good sleep is that I feel exhausted in the morning. I think I had trained my body to get by on a lot less. I've learned in my parenting group that sleep often falls apart around 12 weeks. That gives me up to another 1.5 weeks to pretend these sleep filled nights will never end. :)
Matt's parents have been here since last Thursday. It's been wonderful seeing them with Olive. Deborah has been dominating Dan for Olive time. :) They're still deciding what they want to be called. Last night it was suggested (by me) that Deb go by GaGa. GaGa Garson has a nice ring to it. Not to be outdone, Dan began considering the name Ziggy, which is sort of similar to the Yiddish word for grandfather, Zeidy. The jury is still out on that one!
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Evening Fussies
Olive has a terrible case of the evening fussies. Terrible. On Tuesday night, she fussed from 7pm-midnight. Had you passed by our house at around 11pm, you would have seen us out in the rain in our PJs and mouth guards walking Olive around in her stroller. We took the bumpiest route possible down several cobble stone streets and after 15 minutes or so she was out. We brought her upstairs in the Bugaboo bassinet and sat her next to the bed. SWEET VICTORY!
...
Not so fast, Mom&Dad. I have other plans.
...
She was awake again within 10 minutes. What finally put her to sleep you ask? Gripe water. Just that little taste of sugar. Really? That's all we needed to do? After 5 hours of trying every other tool in our toolbox?
I don't even remember what happened Wednesday night.
Thursday night she decided she hates being in a carrier, unless Mom's arms count as a carrier. Good thing we own three carriers!?
Tonight we decided to try to break the cycle of fussies early in the evening with a ride in the car. We drove down to Leschi. It was a beautiful evening. Lots of boats on Lake Washington and plenty of people out enjoying the last rays of sun. Oh, to be human. She was asleep about 10 minutes in. We continued to drive for another 10, y'know, to really seal the deal.
She was too precious when we carried her up in her car seat. It was almost like the last few days never happened. And then... THEN:
...
Not so fast, Mom&Dad. I have other plans.
...
She was awake again within 10 minutes. What finally put her to sleep you ask? Gripe water. Just that little taste of sugar. Really? That's all we needed to do? After 5 hours of trying every other tool in our toolbox?
I don't even remember what happened Wednesday night.
Thursday night she decided she hates being in a carrier, unless Mom's arms count as a carrier. Good thing we own three carriers!?
Tonight we decided to try to break the cycle of fussies early in the evening with a ride in the car. We drove down to Leschi. It was a beautiful evening. Lots of boats on Lake Washington and plenty of people out enjoying the last rays of sun. Oh, to be human. She was asleep about 10 minutes in. We continued to drive for another 10, y'know, to really seal the deal.
She was too precious when we carried her up in her car seat. It was almost like the last few days never happened. And then... THEN:
And so you may be wondering how this night will end. I can't tell you. It's only 8pm, afterall. However, this is our current state of affairs:
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Winter weather in Summer!
Olive is already a Seattle baby. She's either bundled up:
Or wearing practically nothing at all:
It seems like there's barely been anything between those two extremes this summer!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Somebody's smiling!
Exactly 1 week ago, I came downstairs to greet our little girl and she smiled at me for the very first time. It melted my heart. Since then, the smiles have been few and far between. There was this attempt to capture a smile, which resulted in 2 yawns, a sneeze, and case of the hiccups:
Later in the week, I managed to capture this brief smile followed quickly by a little girl bored with the sound of her mom's annoying voice (smile happens about around the 40 second mark):
But this morning was a totally different story! Olive was a smile machine! She smiled at me, she smiled at her Dad, she smiled at the little woodland creatures hanging from her bouncy chair, she smiled at the air. The bummer for you is that you'll have to trust me on this one since I decided to live in the moment and not take any photos.
Later in the week, I managed to capture this brief smile followed quickly by a little girl bored with the sound of her mom's annoying voice (smile happens about around the 40 second mark):
But this morning was a totally different story! Olive was a smile machine! She smiled at me, she smiled at her Dad, she smiled at the little woodland creatures hanging from her bouncy chair, she smiled at the air. The bummer for you is that you'll have to trust me on this one since I decided to live in the moment and not take any photos.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Bath time!
Olive loves bath time! We've only been giving her a submersion bath about once a week but we might have to start doing it more often because she loves it! Unfortunately, Olive has a bad case of infant acne right now. I've been obsessively smearing her face with breast milk. Did you know breastmilk is like the ultimate panacea? Acne? Check. Eye infection? Check. Stuffy nose? Check! Matt and I keep laughing about how it's slightly cruel that we're rubbing her food all over her face!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Growing and Changing
Olive is changing every single day. She already looks so different than she did just last week! She's making much better eye contact and sometimes I think she's getting ready to smile at me (so far, no cigar though). These little changes are so rewarding!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Remember how we were going to have a big baby?
At about 33 weeks, we were told that we were going to have a baby in the 95th percentile for weight! I was pretty upset by this possibility. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to get a 9+ pound baby out of me. As it turned out, the ultrasound was WAY wrong ... as we knew it could be. So, you may be wondering (as was I) how I was measuring big for the majority of my pregnancy and then gave birth to a sub-6 pound baby. Here's the story.
As you may recall, my OB broke my water on the day before Olive entered the world. The procedure was uncomfortable but not painful. The worst part was that it took longer than it should have. Typically it's a couple minute procedure. For some reason, Dr. Kimelman had a hard time breaking my water and it took probably a good 5-6 minutes. They use what looks like a knitting needle with a little hook on the end. Kinda scary watching that thing go inside! Anyway, when my water finally broke, I felt the release and the warmth of it running out of my body. IMMEDIATELY it became very apparent that I was not having a big baby! In an instant, the size of my stomach decreased significantly. I probably lost 30-40% of my fundal height. Everyone was impressed with how much fluid I had. The belts I was wearing around my stomach to monitor Olive and my contractions had to be resized, there was so much slack.
Pretty funny how things turned out!
As you may recall, my OB broke my water on the day before Olive entered the world. The procedure was uncomfortable but not painful. The worst part was that it took longer than it should have. Typically it's a couple minute procedure. For some reason, Dr. Kimelman had a hard time breaking my water and it took probably a good 5-6 minutes. They use what looks like a knitting needle with a little hook on the end. Kinda scary watching that thing go inside! Anyway, when my water finally broke, I felt the release and the warmth of it running out of my body. IMMEDIATELY it became very apparent that I was not having a big baby! In an instant, the size of my stomach decreased significantly. I probably lost 30-40% of my fundal height. Everyone was impressed with how much fluid I had. The belts I was wearing around my stomach to monitor Olive and my contractions had to be resized, there was so much slack.
Pretty funny how things turned out!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Olive's 2 week check-up
We went in for Olive's 2 week check-up with the pediatrician yesterday (even though she's actually 19 days old). She is a really good eater! At her lowest, she weighed 5lbs 5oz. Yesterday she weighed 7lbs 5oz! She gained 2 pounds in 2 weeks. The pediatrician was impressed. I knew she had gained weight when I snapped this picture nearly 6 days ago:
Compare that face and body to this photo taken when she was about 5 days old:
She's doing so well and that makes us so happy!
Her favorite sleep position is very similar to Mommy's favorite sleep position: one arm out of her swaddle in a champion pose:
Daddy favors a similar position when he sleeps:
Serious emphasis on the WHEN we sleep part! :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Collection of Olive photos and videos
Instead of bombarding you with daily emails with photos of Olive, we'll be posting the best photos and videos here.
Visit this link often!
Visit this link often!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Olive's Birth Story
On Wednesday, June 30th, I woke up and did what I had been doing every Wednesday for most of my pregnancy. I took a photo of my bump to post to this blog. I wrote that it was hard to believe that I might be pregnant for another 4+ weeks. Being pregnant was fun for a while, but I was over bathroom breaks 3 times a night, not being able to bend over and put on my own shoes, and feeling constantly fatigued (even more so than the 1st trimester). On the weekend before, we had completed everything on our baby to-do list. We were ready to meet our baby! I had made a prediction several months before that our baby would come early. Everyone thought I was crazy because most first time moms are late. I can’t say why I thought early, it was just an intuition. I eventually narrowed down our baby’s arrival to a particular week: July 5-12. In the final weeks of my pregnancy, I stopped thinking of the baby as Tray and started thinking of Olive; intuition told me our baby would be a girl. I never really let on to anyone that I thought she would be a girl. On the elliptical at the gym, I would think of Olive and her birth and what it would be like and it would bring tears to my eyes and I could see my heart rate go up.
On the evening of Wednesday, June 30th, Matt and I decided to go for a walk/run around our neighborhood. We had been doing this for a couple of months. We would run a block or two, and then walk several blocks. We discovered many new streets and viewpoints during these routine outings. On this night, as we neared our house, we ran past a couple of young guys hanging out on the hood of a car. We were on the opposite side of the street when one of them yelled out, “Excuse me!” I answered him and his reply was: “You’re having a girl, aren’t you?” We laughed and said we didn’t know. He assured me the baby would be a girl; he could just tell. He laughed and said to Matt, “I bet you want a boy though.” Matt just smiled and said it there was a 50% chance of a girl and a 50% chance of a boy.
That night I got up to use the bathroom around midnight. Then, around 3:40am, I woke up and felt the urge to go again. Only this time, it felt different. I felt very wet. I navigated my way to the bathroom in the dark as I had done countless times before. When I sat down, there was an involuntary release of fluid. I thought it was amniotic fluid. I turned on the light and my heart skipped a beat when I saw bright red blood. I sat down again, another gush. I got up and immediately woke Matt and told him I was bleeding. We called our OBs office and left a message on the emergency line. But I knew we needed to get to the hospital, Swedish First Hill, only 10 blocks away. By 4am, we were in the car on our way to Labor&Delivery triage. The OB called back as I was entering the hospital through the back emergency entrance as we learned we should do if it was the middle of the night. At that point, I hadn’t felt our baby move and I was freaked out.
In triage, they were waiting for me (the OB on call had called them and told them to expect me in the matter of a few minutes since we had talked). Matt was right behind me. They immediately hooked me up to monitors to listen to the baby’s heart rate. At that point, I was still bleeding. Around 4:20am, I passed the test I will always think of as the most important test of my life: happy baby, healthy heartbeat. But we still didn’t know what was wrong. The OB on call came in and did an exam, they drew blood samples to send to the lab, and they tested the blood for amniotic fluid. They found no trace of amniotic fluid so my water had not broken. For the first time, the OB mentioned the possibility of a placental abruption.
What seemed like only minutes later but must have been at least 1.5-2 hours, a very sweet young nurse named Julien came to our triage room. She would be the first of many nurses we would encounter during our multi-day stay. Julie checked us into L&D and the constant monitoring of me and Olive began. They gave me fluids, drew more blood from both arms (I was bruised on both sides by the time I left), and told us we would be taken for an ultrasound within a couple of hours.
Around 10am, an orderly wheeled in a bed and said he would be taking us to Radiology. I asked if I could walk myself and he said no. At Radiology, the ultrasound tech introduced herself as an intern (not exactly what you want to hear under these circumstances). The ultrasound took 45+ minutes. In one of the shots, you could see our baby’s profile and it looked she was sticking out her tongue. The intern left and the tech came in to take an additional look. No one was saying much. During the exam by the tech, she swapped wands on the machine and soon we were looking at high-tech 3-D images of our baby. We could see her face perfectly. The tech said she would give us a CD of the photos and we thought that was so sweet – the first of many kind gestures we would experience at Swedish. When the Radiologist came in, she seemed perplexed. There was no evidence of an abruption or placenta previa. She could identify where my placenta was attached to the uterine wall (it was way up high under my left breast) and there was no sign of a tear or rupture. My bleeding had stopped by now. She explained that the test results could not rule out an abruption; it could only rule it in. The technology wasn’t sophisticated enough to make a distinction between blood and amniotic fluid; they look too much alike. I was wheeled back to my room in L&D.
A couple of hours later, a different OB from the same group came in. She had reviewed all of my test results and was ready to give a recommendation. She explained that our baby was term (past 37 weeks) and viable outside of the womb. I had lost a significant amount of blood. I was having painless contractions 2-3 minutes apart since they had started monitoring around 4:15am. She gave us 2 options: I could be induced (her recommendation) or I could go on bed rest with constant monitoring for 1 week to see what might happen. We asked her what induction would look like. She said pitocin and possibly a foley catheter (a small, 3cm balloon that’s inflated inside your cervix to encourage dilation). We said we wanted a second opinion, that of our regular OB who was out of the office that day but would return on Friday. She agreed we could wait until Friday with constant monitoring in the antepartum wing.
She sat really close to me on the bed and she said, “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking this is your first baby and this isn’t how you imagined it would be. I’m a mom too and I understand that. But we have to do what is best for you and your baby and induction is the safest solution. Why risk more bleeding?” I started crying. She was right. I needed time to process how different this was going to be. How it wasn’t going to go the way I had been daydreaming it would be when I was on the elliptical at the gym.
We were transferred to anterpartum where we would stay for the next 48 hours. The rest of that first day, I was monitored constantly which meant I was tethered to the bed with bands around my stomach to which fetal heart rate and contraction monitors were attached. My chart said “constant monitoring with bathroom privileges.” I couldn’t get up and go for a walk and I couldn’t take a shower and I couldn’t even stand up and walk around the room. We started making calls to family and friends. We called our doula, Cheryl, and explained the situation. She was with another mom in West Seattle who was 2 weeks past her due date. Her water had broken overnight. Cheryl hoped she would be able to stop by and see us in person sometime on Friday. All the while, my contractions continued 2-3 minutes apart.
That night, after the nursing shift change, we met our new nurse, Deb. Deb had recently transferred to Swedish First Hill after a long stay at Swedish Ballard as a nurse midwife. She looked the part and we immediately liked her. She liked that we had chosen to be monitored (instead of induced) while waiting for a second opinion. We asked about the uncomfortable vinyl chair in the room where Matt was supposed to sleep. It didn’t lay flat and he was too tall to fit in it. She said she had seen a rollaway bed in another room but it had a reserved sign on it. I was upset that Matt wasn’t going to get a good night’s sleep. A few minutes later, Deb wheeled in a bed. She said she just went ahead and took the reserved bed. We had an immediate need for it. Another kind gesture.
The next morning at around 8am, our OB, Dr. Kimelman, came to our room. We had really grown to trust her and her moderate views. Matt and his analytical mind and penchant for extensive research had tested her on many issues during our office visits and we found her answers to be very thoughtful and fair. The first thing she said was that she could not believe that it was me who was in this situation. Of all of her patients, I was the last one she was expecting to see under these circumstances. Then she gave her recommendation: induction. She said she had sought the opinion of a perinatologist (an OB for high risk pregnancies, which I was now being considered). They made the same recommendation.
Again we asked what induction would look like. She too mentioned pitocin and a foley catheter but said she wanted to check my cervix to see if all of the contractions I was having had resulted in any progress. The day before I was at 1 cm, 70% effaced. This time I was 2cm, 75% effaced. My body seemed to be ramping up on its own. As a result, the foley catheter was no longer an option (I was already too dilated). Pitocin it would be. We explained that our doula was still with another mom and we wanted to buy some time to see if she could make it to our birth. We asked who would be on call from our OB’s group. We were happy to learn that Dr. Kimelman would be on call for 24 hours, starting 8am Saturday morning, this meant she would probably be able to deliver our baby. At that point, I was ready to be done with bed rest, done with all of the monitoring and ready to meet our baby. I was still very emotional about how different it would be, but I was resigned to their recommendation. We set a time for induction: 6am Saturday morning. That night, Matt and I fell asleep in my bed together. We knew it would be the last time it would be just the two of us. We were excited to meet our baby but I was also mourning the loss of our relationship as we had known it. We were scared and restless.
The next morning, I was up at 5am to prepare for my 6am induction. I remember putting on some makeup (waterproof mascara), putting my hair up out of my face and changing hospital gowns. I looked in the full-length mirror at my reflection and knew it would be the last time I would see myself pregnant with this child. I had grown so accustomed to how I looked. In that moment, I was a little sad that my pregnancy was ending. Six came and went and soon it was 8:30am and still no word about when I would be induced. Dr. Kimelman stopped by and said L&D was extremely busy and there weren’t any rooms available. She would give us another report in a couple of hours. Then it was 11am and I was anxious and mad that we were still waiting. At around 12:30pm, Dr Kimelman came back. She apologized for the wait and said that she had personally written my name on the board, assigning me a room in L&D. Barring any other high-risk or complicated labor patients, an L&D nurse (who our OB had hand-picked for us based on our desire to keep things as non-invasive as possible – another kind gesture) would be picking us up within the hour. Then our OB said, “instead of putting you on pit [pitocin], I’m going to strip your membranes and break your water.” I liked that idea because it wasn’t pitocin, but, in the excitement of getting a room, we didn’t ask why she had changed her mind.
By 1pm, an L&D nurse named Angie came to our room in antepartum and we were then transferred to a room in L&D. Our doula was still with the West Seattle mom. She had now been in labor for 48+ hours and was at the hospital. A back-up doula named Katrina was with us instead. Again, not according to our plan but we were grateful for her presence and advice. Within 30 minutes, Dr. Kimelman announced that she would now be stripping my membranes and breaking my water. Katrina said to me, “if you have any questions about this, now is the time to ask.” So, I asked, “why did you change your mind about pitocin?” I was shocked at her reply. She explained that breaking my water was the only way she was going to be able to get me into L&D that day. If my membranes were ruptured, I was put higher on the triage list than someone being induced. I asked whether she thought this would start my labor and she said, “I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t.” In that moment, I was very grateful and felt very lucky to have chosen her. She knew she had set an expectation that she would deliver our baby and she was doing everything she could to make that happen. She was confident that my body would do what it knows how to do and go into labor on its own, without the need for pitocin. She was right!
I walked the halls of the hospital for 15 minutes or so using a remote monitor for the baby. I was anxious for things to get started. At one point, I got trapped by a large tour of pregnant women and their partners; I felt like a monkey on display: “And here’s a real life woman in labor.” My nurse Angie joked that I should drop to all fours and start moaning. I didn’t have a chance to play that little joke because within about an hour (around 2:30pm or so) the contractions started. At first they were manageable and I was able to use my Ujjayi breath to cope. It was around this time that my contractions went from 2-3 minutes apart to 1-2 minutes apart. I continued to cope using a breathing rhythm that sounded like a long moan. I used the birthing ball, the bed, the rocking chair, and standing upright. Katrina said she thought I had entered active labor. I remember acknowledging what she said, but I didn’t open my eyes. In fact, I didn’t open my eyes and look at anyone for a good 5 hours at least.
Around 6 or so, I got into the birth tub. I had been looking forward to the moment they told me I could get into the tub. Water is supposed to be one of the best ways to cope with pain. But you can’t get in too soon or it can stall your labor. The contractions were still coming a minute apart and every 3rd or 4th one was a back-to-back contraction. I remember hearing Matt and Katrina saying “let go of this one, this one’s over” (they were watching the monitor and could tell when I was past the peak). But a lot of the time, I remember saying “no, it’s not going away” or “it’s back.” Despite my high hopes for the birthing tub, it did absolutely nothing for me. I felt trapped, like I couldn’t find the right position and the right rhythm. It was around this time I started thinking about the epidural. My eyes were still sealed shut.
After about an hour in the tub, thinking about the epidural the entire time, I said I wanted to be checked by Dr. Kimelman. I told myself that if I was 6 or 7cm dilated, I would forego the epidural. If I was anything less, I honestly felt as though I didn’t have the energy to continue. It wasn’t about the pain, it was about fatigue, which is what I always knew it would come down to. 2.5 days in the hospital leading up to this moment had left me exhausted, both mentally and physically. Dr. Kimelan came and checked my cervix and I was 4cm and 100% effaced. In reality, I had made great progress, but in my mind, I was thinking that I’d only dilated 2 more cm in 5 hours of pain and fatigue. I said I wanted the epidural. Matt and I had discussed that when I asked for the epidural, he should try to talk me out of it. I heard Matt say, “can we have 5 minutes.” I sharply replied that I didn’t need 5 minutes. Angie started an IV and called for anesthesia.
The anesthesiologist was in my room within 20 minutes. She asked me to sit on the edge of the bed and be as still as possible as she inserted the needle and catheter into my spine. Even if a contraction came, I needed to stay still. The contractions were coming fast and furious so there was no avoiding that I would experience at least 1 or 2 while she was performing this very delicate job. A strong one hit me and I squeezed Matt’s hands as hard as I could. Then, I vaguely remember Matt saying to Katrina “I’m going to faint.” The next thing I remember is the anesthesiologist giving orders to get Matt’s feet elevated, to give him juice and something to eat, etc. The energy and attention in the room shifted to my poor husband lying on the floor of our birthing suite. A new nurse, Maddie, came up close to my face and introduced herself. She was a beautiful young woman in her late 20s. We grew very fond of her during the duration of our stay in L&D. She was the nurse who would help deliver our Olive.
Within 15-20 minutes, the contractions started to fade. I opened my eyes for the first time in hours and Matt was standing next to me and I said, “I can see you.” Our doula, Cheryl, was there now too. She had finished her other job. The West Seattle mom had finally delivered her baby, a 12lb boy, by c-section. She had been in labor for nearly 72 hours. It was around 7:30pm.
I must have fallen asleep almost immediately. My body was so exhausted it was an effortless sleep. When I awoke, it was nearly 9:30pm. Matt was there, as was Katrina, Cheryl, and Maddie. The irony of this was not lost on me. I was surrounded by 4 wonderful support people and I was snuggled up in bed, comfortable as can be. The contractions were still coming but I couldn’t feel them. Later, Matt told me that Cheryl had been watching my contractions on the monitor and had told him that we would have a baby before 1am. She was amazed that the contractions were still only 1 minute apart. She commented that an epidural was probably the right decision for me because I had been fighting my body. Now that I was relaxed, my body could do what it knew how to do. I have very fond memories of the 5 of us sitting around the L&D room for the next couple of hours just talking. It was so peaceful and I felt so loved and cared for by these (mostly) strangers.
At 11:30pm, Maddie announced that she would be checking my cervix for progress. Once again, I closed my eyes (even though I couldn’t feel anything) and waited to hear the news. Cheryl said, “Big smile from Maddie. What does it mean?” Maddie announced that I was 9.5cm. Cheryl was right, in a matter of only 4 hours, I had gone from 4cm to 9.5 cm. It’s typical to gain 1 cm every 2 hours. My body had been ready all along. Maddie said I should take a nap because I would start pushing within 1 hour. I had hard work ahead of me. Katrina offered to massage my feet and I slept until about 12:15.
When I woke up, Dr. Kimelman was in the room. Cheryl and Katrina were on either side. Matt was near my head. Cheryl and Katrina explained how I needed to push. They were surprised that I had such great control of my lower body given the epidural. I could easily lift my hips off the bed and I could feel my feet completely. But there was no pain from the contractions. Perfect! I would pull my legs back, take in a deep breath, hold that breath inside of me, and bear down as hard as I could. I would do this in clusters of three simultaneously with a contraction. We did a test run. I heard Dr. Kimelman exclaim, “I already see hair!” Then she looked at me with a smile and said, “You’re making me rush around here!”
It was either Cheryl of Katrina who suggested that we take a poll in the room to guess the gender of our baby. Cheryl and Katrina who had been watching the fetal monitor for many hours, predicted boy based on the heart rate (boys usually have a slower heart rate). Maddie guessed boy. Matt guessed girl as did Dr. Kimelman and the second set of hands (nurse) they called in for the delivery. I could have been the tie-breaker, but no one asked me what I thought! I continued the pushing for a series of 5-6 clusters of breaths. Again, my eyes were closed the entire time. Dr. Kimelman announced that I needed to open my eyes to see my baby. As we had planned, Matt was the one who got to announce the sex. At 12:48am, he tentatively said, “A girl?” It was confirmed. Then he looked at me and said, “We have a girl.” They placed her on my chest and she was perfect. I couldn’t believe that she was the one who was inside of me all that time. I never thought she would be as perfect as she is. Dr. Kimelman said, “You’re the most amazing pusher I’ve ever seen.”
When my placenta was delivered, Dr. Kimelman and my doulas gathered around to inspect. There was clear evidence of an abruption. There was clotting in a couple of places. The OBs had made the right call all along. Dr. Kimelman then said to me that if I had been on pitocin my labor wouldn’t have been as intense as it was. On pit, they can control how fast your contractions come and they like to settle you into a pattern of every 2-3 minutes. My body made quick work with contractions only 1 minute apart. The irony! I was so against pitocin and now I was being told that my labor would have been less intense with it. I was still glad to have avoided it.
After everyone had left for the night, it was just me, Matt, and Olive. We admired our little girl, every detail, while we waited for a postpartum room. Around 5 or 6am, Maddie came in and helped me out of bed and into a wheel chair. She rolled us out of our L&D room and down the hall toward postpartum. I was sad that it was the middle of the night. There was no one in the halls to see us but I felt so proud holding my daughter in my arms.
In the end, I could not have been more satisfied with my labor experience and with Olive’s birth. I got to experience everything I wanted to experience. I went into labor naturally (except the rupturing of my membranes). I know what it feels like to have labor contractions. I know what it feels like to hit a wall of exhaustion and surrender to the moment. I got to push my baby out even if I didn’t feel the “ring of fire.” I was surrounded by people I trusted and, most importantly, I was handed a beautiful baby and we are both healthy.
Matt’s former boss sent an email congratulating us on the birth of our daughter. In it, he said he hoped that Olive would get to experience the very best life has to offer. It all comes down to that sentiment and it’s really all you can hope for!
On the evening of Wednesday, June 30th, Matt and I decided to go for a walk/run around our neighborhood. We had been doing this for a couple of months. We would run a block or two, and then walk several blocks. We discovered many new streets and viewpoints during these routine outings. On this night, as we neared our house, we ran past a couple of young guys hanging out on the hood of a car. We were on the opposite side of the street when one of them yelled out, “Excuse me!” I answered him and his reply was: “You’re having a girl, aren’t you?” We laughed and said we didn’t know. He assured me the baby would be a girl; he could just tell. He laughed and said to Matt, “I bet you want a boy though.” Matt just smiled and said it there was a 50% chance of a girl and a 50% chance of a boy.
That night I got up to use the bathroom around midnight. Then, around 3:40am, I woke up and felt the urge to go again. Only this time, it felt different. I felt very wet. I navigated my way to the bathroom in the dark as I had done countless times before. When I sat down, there was an involuntary release of fluid. I thought it was amniotic fluid. I turned on the light and my heart skipped a beat when I saw bright red blood. I sat down again, another gush. I got up and immediately woke Matt and told him I was bleeding. We called our OBs office and left a message on the emergency line. But I knew we needed to get to the hospital, Swedish First Hill, only 10 blocks away. By 4am, we were in the car on our way to Labor&Delivery triage. The OB called back as I was entering the hospital through the back emergency entrance as we learned we should do if it was the middle of the night. At that point, I hadn’t felt our baby move and I was freaked out.
In triage, they were waiting for me (the OB on call had called them and told them to expect me in the matter of a few minutes since we had talked). Matt was right behind me. They immediately hooked me up to monitors to listen to the baby’s heart rate. At that point, I was still bleeding. Around 4:20am, I passed the test I will always think of as the most important test of my life: happy baby, healthy heartbeat. But we still didn’t know what was wrong. The OB on call came in and did an exam, they drew blood samples to send to the lab, and they tested the blood for amniotic fluid. They found no trace of amniotic fluid so my water had not broken. For the first time, the OB mentioned the possibility of a placental abruption.
What seemed like only minutes later but must have been at least 1.5-2 hours, a very sweet young nurse named Julien came to our triage room. She would be the first of many nurses we would encounter during our multi-day stay. Julie checked us into L&D and the constant monitoring of me and Olive began. They gave me fluids, drew more blood from both arms (I was bruised on both sides by the time I left), and told us we would be taken for an ultrasound within a couple of hours.
Around 10am, an orderly wheeled in a bed and said he would be taking us to Radiology. I asked if I could walk myself and he said no. At Radiology, the ultrasound tech introduced herself as an intern (not exactly what you want to hear under these circumstances). The ultrasound took 45+ minutes. In one of the shots, you could see our baby’s profile and it looked she was sticking out her tongue. The intern left and the tech came in to take an additional look. No one was saying much. During the exam by the tech, she swapped wands on the machine and soon we were looking at high-tech 3-D images of our baby. We could see her face perfectly. The tech said she would give us a CD of the photos and we thought that was so sweet – the first of many kind gestures we would experience at Swedish. When the Radiologist came in, she seemed perplexed. There was no evidence of an abruption or placenta previa. She could identify where my placenta was attached to the uterine wall (it was way up high under my left breast) and there was no sign of a tear or rupture. My bleeding had stopped by now. She explained that the test results could not rule out an abruption; it could only rule it in. The technology wasn’t sophisticated enough to make a distinction between blood and amniotic fluid; they look too much alike. I was wheeled back to my room in L&D.
A couple of hours later, a different OB from the same group came in. She had reviewed all of my test results and was ready to give a recommendation. She explained that our baby was term (past 37 weeks) and viable outside of the womb. I had lost a significant amount of blood. I was having painless contractions 2-3 minutes apart since they had started monitoring around 4:15am. She gave us 2 options: I could be induced (her recommendation) or I could go on bed rest with constant monitoring for 1 week to see what might happen. We asked her what induction would look like. She said pitocin and possibly a foley catheter (a small, 3cm balloon that’s inflated inside your cervix to encourage dilation). We said we wanted a second opinion, that of our regular OB who was out of the office that day but would return on Friday. She agreed we could wait until Friday with constant monitoring in the antepartum wing.
She sat really close to me on the bed and she said, “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking this is your first baby and this isn’t how you imagined it would be. I’m a mom too and I understand that. But we have to do what is best for you and your baby and induction is the safest solution. Why risk more bleeding?” I started crying. She was right. I needed time to process how different this was going to be. How it wasn’t going to go the way I had been daydreaming it would be when I was on the elliptical at the gym.
We were transferred to anterpartum where we would stay for the next 48 hours. The rest of that first day, I was monitored constantly which meant I was tethered to the bed with bands around my stomach to which fetal heart rate and contraction monitors were attached. My chart said “constant monitoring with bathroom privileges.” I couldn’t get up and go for a walk and I couldn’t take a shower and I couldn’t even stand up and walk around the room. We started making calls to family and friends. We called our doula, Cheryl, and explained the situation. She was with another mom in West Seattle who was 2 weeks past her due date. Her water had broken overnight. Cheryl hoped she would be able to stop by and see us in person sometime on Friday. All the while, my contractions continued 2-3 minutes apart.
That night, after the nursing shift change, we met our new nurse, Deb. Deb had recently transferred to Swedish First Hill after a long stay at Swedish Ballard as a nurse midwife. She looked the part and we immediately liked her. She liked that we had chosen to be monitored (instead of induced) while waiting for a second opinion. We asked about the uncomfortable vinyl chair in the room where Matt was supposed to sleep. It didn’t lay flat and he was too tall to fit in it. She said she had seen a rollaway bed in another room but it had a reserved sign on it. I was upset that Matt wasn’t going to get a good night’s sleep. A few minutes later, Deb wheeled in a bed. She said she just went ahead and took the reserved bed. We had an immediate need for it. Another kind gesture.
The next morning at around 8am, our OB, Dr. Kimelman, came to our room. We had really grown to trust her and her moderate views. Matt and his analytical mind and penchant for extensive research had tested her on many issues during our office visits and we found her answers to be very thoughtful and fair. The first thing she said was that she could not believe that it was me who was in this situation. Of all of her patients, I was the last one she was expecting to see under these circumstances. Then she gave her recommendation: induction. She said she had sought the opinion of a perinatologist (an OB for high risk pregnancies, which I was now being considered). They made the same recommendation.
Again we asked what induction would look like. She too mentioned pitocin and a foley catheter but said she wanted to check my cervix to see if all of the contractions I was having had resulted in any progress. The day before I was at 1 cm, 70% effaced. This time I was 2cm, 75% effaced. My body seemed to be ramping up on its own. As a result, the foley catheter was no longer an option (I was already too dilated). Pitocin it would be. We explained that our doula was still with another mom and we wanted to buy some time to see if she could make it to our birth. We asked who would be on call from our OB’s group. We were happy to learn that Dr. Kimelman would be on call for 24 hours, starting 8am Saturday morning, this meant she would probably be able to deliver our baby. At that point, I was ready to be done with bed rest, done with all of the monitoring and ready to meet our baby. I was still very emotional about how different it would be, but I was resigned to their recommendation. We set a time for induction: 6am Saturday morning. That night, Matt and I fell asleep in my bed together. We knew it would be the last time it would be just the two of us. We were excited to meet our baby but I was also mourning the loss of our relationship as we had known it. We were scared and restless.
The next morning, I was up at 5am to prepare for my 6am induction. I remember putting on some makeup (waterproof mascara), putting my hair up out of my face and changing hospital gowns. I looked in the full-length mirror at my reflection and knew it would be the last time I would see myself pregnant with this child. I had grown so accustomed to how I looked. In that moment, I was a little sad that my pregnancy was ending. Six came and went and soon it was 8:30am and still no word about when I would be induced. Dr. Kimelman stopped by and said L&D was extremely busy and there weren’t any rooms available. She would give us another report in a couple of hours. Then it was 11am and I was anxious and mad that we were still waiting. At around 12:30pm, Dr Kimelman came back. She apologized for the wait and said that she had personally written my name on the board, assigning me a room in L&D. Barring any other high-risk or complicated labor patients, an L&D nurse (who our OB had hand-picked for us based on our desire to keep things as non-invasive as possible – another kind gesture) would be picking us up within the hour. Then our OB said, “instead of putting you on pit [pitocin], I’m going to strip your membranes and break your water.” I liked that idea because it wasn’t pitocin, but, in the excitement of getting a room, we didn’t ask why she had changed her mind.
By 1pm, an L&D nurse named Angie came to our room in antepartum and we were then transferred to a room in L&D. Our doula was still with the West Seattle mom. She had now been in labor for 48+ hours and was at the hospital. A back-up doula named Katrina was with us instead. Again, not according to our plan but we were grateful for her presence and advice. Within 30 minutes, Dr. Kimelman announced that she would now be stripping my membranes and breaking my water. Katrina said to me, “if you have any questions about this, now is the time to ask.” So, I asked, “why did you change your mind about pitocin?” I was shocked at her reply. She explained that breaking my water was the only way she was going to be able to get me into L&D that day. If my membranes were ruptured, I was put higher on the triage list than someone being induced. I asked whether she thought this would start my labor and she said, “I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t.” In that moment, I was very grateful and felt very lucky to have chosen her. She knew she had set an expectation that she would deliver our baby and she was doing everything she could to make that happen. She was confident that my body would do what it knows how to do and go into labor on its own, without the need for pitocin. She was right!
I walked the halls of the hospital for 15 minutes or so using a remote monitor for the baby. I was anxious for things to get started. At one point, I got trapped by a large tour of pregnant women and their partners; I felt like a monkey on display: “And here’s a real life woman in labor.” My nurse Angie joked that I should drop to all fours and start moaning. I didn’t have a chance to play that little joke because within about an hour (around 2:30pm or so) the contractions started. At first they were manageable and I was able to use my Ujjayi breath to cope. It was around this time that my contractions went from 2-3 minutes apart to 1-2 minutes apart. I continued to cope using a breathing rhythm that sounded like a long moan. I used the birthing ball, the bed, the rocking chair, and standing upright. Katrina said she thought I had entered active labor. I remember acknowledging what she said, but I didn’t open my eyes. In fact, I didn’t open my eyes and look at anyone for a good 5 hours at least.
Around 6 or so, I got into the birth tub. I had been looking forward to the moment they told me I could get into the tub. Water is supposed to be one of the best ways to cope with pain. But you can’t get in too soon or it can stall your labor. The contractions were still coming a minute apart and every 3rd or 4th one was a back-to-back contraction. I remember hearing Matt and Katrina saying “let go of this one, this one’s over” (they were watching the monitor and could tell when I was past the peak). But a lot of the time, I remember saying “no, it’s not going away” or “it’s back.” Despite my high hopes for the birthing tub, it did absolutely nothing for me. I felt trapped, like I couldn’t find the right position and the right rhythm. It was around this time I started thinking about the epidural. My eyes were still sealed shut.
After about an hour in the tub, thinking about the epidural the entire time, I said I wanted to be checked by Dr. Kimelman. I told myself that if I was 6 or 7cm dilated, I would forego the epidural. If I was anything less, I honestly felt as though I didn’t have the energy to continue. It wasn’t about the pain, it was about fatigue, which is what I always knew it would come down to. 2.5 days in the hospital leading up to this moment had left me exhausted, both mentally and physically. Dr. Kimelan came and checked my cervix and I was 4cm and 100% effaced. In reality, I had made great progress, but in my mind, I was thinking that I’d only dilated 2 more cm in 5 hours of pain and fatigue. I said I wanted the epidural. Matt and I had discussed that when I asked for the epidural, he should try to talk me out of it. I heard Matt say, “can we have 5 minutes.” I sharply replied that I didn’t need 5 minutes. Angie started an IV and called for anesthesia.
The anesthesiologist was in my room within 20 minutes. She asked me to sit on the edge of the bed and be as still as possible as she inserted the needle and catheter into my spine. Even if a contraction came, I needed to stay still. The contractions were coming fast and furious so there was no avoiding that I would experience at least 1 or 2 while she was performing this very delicate job. A strong one hit me and I squeezed Matt’s hands as hard as I could. Then, I vaguely remember Matt saying to Katrina “I’m going to faint.” The next thing I remember is the anesthesiologist giving orders to get Matt’s feet elevated, to give him juice and something to eat, etc. The energy and attention in the room shifted to my poor husband lying on the floor of our birthing suite. A new nurse, Maddie, came up close to my face and introduced herself. She was a beautiful young woman in her late 20s. We grew very fond of her during the duration of our stay in L&D. She was the nurse who would help deliver our Olive.
Within 15-20 minutes, the contractions started to fade. I opened my eyes for the first time in hours and Matt was standing next to me and I said, “I can see you.” Our doula, Cheryl, was there now too. She had finished her other job. The West Seattle mom had finally delivered her baby, a 12lb boy, by c-section. She had been in labor for nearly 72 hours. It was around 7:30pm.
I must have fallen asleep almost immediately. My body was so exhausted it was an effortless sleep. When I awoke, it was nearly 9:30pm. Matt was there, as was Katrina, Cheryl, and Maddie. The irony of this was not lost on me. I was surrounded by 4 wonderful support people and I was snuggled up in bed, comfortable as can be. The contractions were still coming but I couldn’t feel them. Later, Matt told me that Cheryl had been watching my contractions on the monitor and had told him that we would have a baby before 1am. She was amazed that the contractions were still only 1 minute apart. She commented that an epidural was probably the right decision for me because I had been fighting my body. Now that I was relaxed, my body could do what it knew how to do. I have very fond memories of the 5 of us sitting around the L&D room for the next couple of hours just talking. It was so peaceful and I felt so loved and cared for by these (mostly) strangers.
At 11:30pm, Maddie announced that she would be checking my cervix for progress. Once again, I closed my eyes (even though I couldn’t feel anything) and waited to hear the news. Cheryl said, “Big smile from Maddie. What does it mean?” Maddie announced that I was 9.5cm. Cheryl was right, in a matter of only 4 hours, I had gone from 4cm to 9.5 cm. It’s typical to gain 1 cm every 2 hours. My body had been ready all along. Maddie said I should take a nap because I would start pushing within 1 hour. I had hard work ahead of me. Katrina offered to massage my feet and I slept until about 12:15.
When I woke up, Dr. Kimelman was in the room. Cheryl and Katrina were on either side. Matt was near my head. Cheryl and Katrina explained how I needed to push. They were surprised that I had such great control of my lower body given the epidural. I could easily lift my hips off the bed and I could feel my feet completely. But there was no pain from the contractions. Perfect! I would pull my legs back, take in a deep breath, hold that breath inside of me, and bear down as hard as I could. I would do this in clusters of three simultaneously with a contraction. We did a test run. I heard Dr. Kimelman exclaim, “I already see hair!” Then she looked at me with a smile and said, “You’re making me rush around here!”
It was either Cheryl of Katrina who suggested that we take a poll in the room to guess the gender of our baby. Cheryl and Katrina who had been watching the fetal monitor for many hours, predicted boy based on the heart rate (boys usually have a slower heart rate). Maddie guessed boy. Matt guessed girl as did Dr. Kimelman and the second set of hands (nurse) they called in for the delivery. I could have been the tie-breaker, but no one asked me what I thought! I continued the pushing for a series of 5-6 clusters of breaths. Again, my eyes were closed the entire time. Dr. Kimelman announced that I needed to open my eyes to see my baby. As we had planned, Matt was the one who got to announce the sex. At 12:48am, he tentatively said, “A girl?” It was confirmed. Then he looked at me and said, “We have a girl.” They placed her on my chest and she was perfect. I couldn’t believe that she was the one who was inside of me all that time. I never thought she would be as perfect as she is. Dr. Kimelman said, “You’re the most amazing pusher I’ve ever seen.”
When my placenta was delivered, Dr. Kimelman and my doulas gathered around to inspect. There was clear evidence of an abruption. There was clotting in a couple of places. The OBs had made the right call all along. Dr. Kimelman then said to me that if I had been on pitocin my labor wouldn’t have been as intense as it was. On pit, they can control how fast your contractions come and they like to settle you into a pattern of every 2-3 minutes. My body made quick work with contractions only 1 minute apart. The irony! I was so against pitocin and now I was being told that my labor would have been less intense with it. I was still glad to have avoided it.
After everyone had left for the night, it was just me, Matt, and Olive. We admired our little girl, every detail, while we waited for a postpartum room. Around 5 or 6am, Maddie came in and helped me out of bed and into a wheel chair. She rolled us out of our L&D room and down the hall toward postpartum. I was sad that it was the middle of the night. There was no one in the halls to see us but I felt so proud holding my daughter in my arms.
In the end, I could not have been more satisfied with my labor experience and with Olive’s birth. I got to experience everything I wanted to experience. I went into labor naturally (except the rupturing of my membranes). I know what it feels like to have labor contractions. I know what it feels like to hit a wall of exhaustion and surrender to the moment. I got to push my baby out even if I didn’t feel the “ring of fire.” I was surrounded by people I trusted and, most importantly, I was handed a beautiful baby and we are both healthy.
Matt’s former boss sent an email congratulating us on the birth of our daughter. In it, he said he hoped that Olive would get to experience the very best life has to offer. It all comes down to that sentiment and it’s really all you can hope for!
Olive Stuart Garson
I think all of this blog's readers already know, but just in case:
OLIVE STUART GARSON
Born: 7/4/2010, 12:48am
5lbs 15oz, 18.5inches
I'll be posting her birth story just as soon as I'm done writing it. It's long but I think you'll enjoy reading it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
37 weeks
We're in the home stretch now but it still feels like it's going to take forever! It's a little hard for me to imagine that I might be pregnant for another 4+ weeks (if I'm late). We haven't gone out of town or done anything we'd normally do at this time of year in a couple months. No roadtrips, hikes, dinners out with friends and several bottles of wine, etc. I always look forward to the July 4th weekend in Seattle because typically that means summer weather is just around the corner. It's not looking so this year though. Sigh.
I've stopped running as per my doula's advice. Actually, that's not true. I still jog slowly for a couple of minutes but otherwise I've been doing all of my cardio on the elliptical machine. Our doula, who is a runner herself, suggested that I not put unnecessary pressure on my bladder in these last few weeks. I didn't argue! :) I have also continued lifting light weights. There's no way I could have stopped exercising entirely during my pregnancy so I'm glad I never got those orders from our OB. But I also wonder how much of a difference it might make in labor that I've maintained my level of fitness.
Everything is ready for the baby. Carseat bases are installed in both cars. The bassinet is equipped with sheets and waterproof mattress pads. Even our bed now has a waterproof layer under my side in case my water breaks at night. A shipment of the greenest disposable diapers we could find are on their way (we plan to eventually transition to cloth, but newborns fit disposables better). The breast pump Liz gave me is fully equipped with new parts (thanks Liz!!). A name for each sex has been chosen. Maybe I shouldn't be so ambitious and productive. If I still had tons left to do, maybe I'd be sitting here thinking "don't come yet baby!"
Monday, June 28, 2010
Just because
This photo captures the changing shape of my belly. I'm much rounder than I was!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Baby/kids sale loot!
Only 5-6 blocks from our house is a strip of baby and kid stores alongside a birthing center. Today, all of those stores plus several others from the Seattle area had a big sidewalk sale. We were there at 10 when everything opened and scored some great loot.
Even though we vowed not to buy a high chair until necessary, we couldn't pass up this super modern design with a small footprint for 75% off:
Even though we vowed not to buy a high chair until necessary, we couldn't pass up this super modern design with a small footprint for 75% off:
We also bought an organic cotton crib sheet (regularly $25) for $8. But the best deal was $5 for Mama Mio Emergency Repair Stretch Mark Minimiser (regularly $65)!! It remains to be seen if I'll need this cream or if it even works, but for $5, I'm prepared.
They had tons of cute stuff we had to pass on, including this adorable organic canvas toy bin for $20. As we were debating if we had enough floor space for it, Matt finally said, "I think if we're able to fill this thing, we've failed." The woman next to us started laughing. :)
Friday, June 25, 2010
36 week update
Summer finally arrived in Seattle. Wednesday was the first day in something like 260+ days that the temperature got above 75 degrees! We had the darkest summer solstice in 15 years last Sunday! Needless to say, this CA girl is happy to see the sun! However, I already notice a huge difference in my body's ability to regulate temperature! A mere 70 degrees feels like 90 to me. So, I suppose it's a good thing I'm no longer a CA girl (at least not right now).
We had our 36+ week check-up today and everything looks good. I'm now measuring exactly 36 weeks! Who knows if there is an explanation for this. One thing I noticed over the last few weeks is that my stomach is rounder whereas before the bulk of it was just below my rib cage before quickly sloping downward. Perhaps the change in shape contributed to my no longer measuring big. This could also explain why Tray measured big. I read that baby's in certain positions will read bigger on an ultrasound machine. I'll be surprised if I end up with a big baby. I'm expecting an 8.5 pounder or less. :)
Tray is head down and starting to settle into my pelvis. I'm about 1 cm dilated and it's unclear how effaced I am because my cervix is still pointing backward. Once it comes more midline, our OB can make a better estimate of whether it has started to thin. I'm still having tons of Braxton-Hicks contractions and menstrual-like cramps. I'm now taking 3 trips a night to the bathroom (it used to be just one). I usually wake in the middle of the night to a full bladder and a rock hard stromach in the middle of a contraction. It's VERY uncomfortable but not painful. The last couple of nights I've been able to feel Tray's little butt just below the left side of my rib cage. I wonder what a contraction feels like inside?
We were able to have a nice long conversation with our OB about our birth plan. She read through the whole thing and offered a few caveats, but overall it sounds like we're not asking for anything too out of the ordinary. The one potential issue is if I were to need a c-section. The hospital's policy is that you can only have 1 guest in the operating room with you. I've never had to stay in a hospital or have surgery. I really hate hospitals, always have. It's important to us that if I can't have skin-to-skin contact with Tray (which I can't in the case of a c-section), Matt take my place. The problem with this is that I'm then left alone for the remainder of the surgery (the baby comes out in the first 10 minutes; it takes another 30+ to complete the procedure). I REALLY don't want to be left alone, awake on an operating table with my stomach cut open. We asked our OB that it be noted in my file we'd like an exception to the rule so that our doula can be present with me if/when Matt leaves my side to be with the baby. She was sympathetic but ultimately said it's up to the anesthesiologist assigned to us. They call the shots.
We're looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend starting now!
We had our 36+ week check-up today and everything looks good. I'm now measuring exactly 36 weeks! Who knows if there is an explanation for this. One thing I noticed over the last few weeks is that my stomach is rounder whereas before the bulk of it was just below my rib cage before quickly sloping downward. Perhaps the change in shape contributed to my no longer measuring big. This could also explain why Tray measured big. I read that baby's in certain positions will read bigger on an ultrasound machine. I'll be surprised if I end up with a big baby. I'm expecting an 8.5 pounder or less. :)
Tray is head down and starting to settle into my pelvis. I'm about 1 cm dilated and it's unclear how effaced I am because my cervix is still pointing backward. Once it comes more midline, our OB can make a better estimate of whether it has started to thin. I'm still having tons of Braxton-Hicks contractions and menstrual-like cramps. I'm now taking 3 trips a night to the bathroom (it used to be just one). I usually wake in the middle of the night to a full bladder and a rock hard stromach in the middle of a contraction. It's VERY uncomfortable but not painful. The last couple of nights I've been able to feel Tray's little butt just below the left side of my rib cage. I wonder what a contraction feels like inside?
We were able to have a nice long conversation with our OB about our birth plan. She read through the whole thing and offered a few caveats, but overall it sounds like we're not asking for anything too out of the ordinary. The one potential issue is if I were to need a c-section. The hospital's policy is that you can only have 1 guest in the operating room with you. I've never had to stay in a hospital or have surgery. I really hate hospitals, always have. It's important to us that if I can't have skin-to-skin contact with Tray (which I can't in the case of a c-section), Matt take my place. The problem with this is that I'm then left alone for the remainder of the surgery (the baby comes out in the first 10 minutes; it takes another 30+ to complete the procedure). I REALLY don't want to be left alone, awake on an operating table with my stomach cut open. We asked our OB that it be noted in my file we'd like an exception to the rule so that our doula can be present with me if/when Matt leaves my side to be with the baby. She was sympathetic but ultimately said it's up to the anesthesiologist assigned to us. They call the shots.
We're looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend starting now!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
36 weeks!
I went to H&M over the weekend to pick-up a few last minute tops I can wear as my belly continues to expand. For $5, I should have gotten 2 or 3 of these tops!
Last night we met with our doula and, once again, she instilled in us a sense of confidence and calm. I was telling Matt that regardless of how my labor turns out, the fact that I'm not stressed about it or fearful, has made Cheryl (the doula) worth every penny. We keep hearing over and over again that there are 2 things that can really work against you in labor: fear and fatigue. I'm not scared. Fighting fatigue will be the biggest battle.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
What I want to teach our kid(s)
I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to teach our future kids. Obviously, much of what is important to me is directly related to my own childhood, what I learned, and how I perceive those things have benefited me. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm still learning and practicing these and many other values.
Celebration of differences - Hopefully this won't be something we actively teach our kids as much as it will be something our kids are simply born into. I'm talking about something more than mere tolerance. I want our kids to have relationships with people who are different than them and I want them to celebrate those differences. There's something to be learned from every single person whose path you cross in life. If you're not listening to their experience and their perspective, you're missing out on an opportunity to make yourself a better person and to make the world a better place.
Tzedakah - This is one of my favorite concepts of Judaism. Tzedakah is like charity but it's different in a couple of key ways. Charity is an act of benevolence and generosity most often defined as an act of the rich to benefit the poor. Tzedakah is a duty that is performed out of righteousness and justice. Tzedakah is about fairness. The highest form of tzedakah is to give when neither party knows the other's identity, double anonymity. My favorite example of tzedakah is called peah. Peah is a farmer’s obligation to leave a corner of his field unharvested for the poor to take from.
Peah is not about giving just once or once a year, but systematically (e.g. every pay check, every month, every harvest, etc.). It's more about the consciousness (of the giver) than it is the amount. Another key element of Tzedakah is empathy. The farmer leaves the corner of the field so that the receiver may take on their own time (be self-reliant) without embarrassment. The receiver must take the trouble to harvest and earn their own gift, providing a sense of self-respect.
Graciousness/Kindness/Compassion - Our kids are going to be born into the American middle-class and that will make them richer and more fortunate than the vast majority of the rest of the world. When you're born into wealth, there is responsibility and I believe that responsibility goes beyond monetary generosity. I want our kids to not only understand their good fortune but to be truly informed by it. I want them to naturally behave with grace and tact and to treat people with respect and admiration, both here on American soil and around the world. No spoiled brats!
Hard work - When we went on our family vacation to Florida, I was around 12 years old and had spent the summer grudgingly working in the orchard. I was not happy that my "vacation" was spent in the hot Northern California sun, dirt under my fingernails, miles from the nearest swimming pool, with very little social interaction. Brian wasn't very happy about it either. But we were looking forward to our family vacation to Florida at the end of summer. When we finally landed in Orlando and made our way to the rental car pick-up, I thought there had been some sort of mistake when the car my parents rented turned out to be a convertible mustang. My dad said something like "surprise!" but I was totally unaware of what he was talking about. It turns out my Dad wanted to reward us for our hard work so instead of driving around in a Cutlas Supreme, he upgraded so that we could cruise in a convertible (my first-time). It was a good and simple lesson. Work hard for the things you want and you may even be surprised and end up with more than you were hoping for.
A similar story: I wanted a Pound Puppy stuffed animal one summer. I think they cost around $20. My dad said I could earn the money to buy the Pound Puppy by picking olives. He agreed to pay me what he paid the migrant workers who came every summer. It seemed simple. I would fill up the equivalent of a 5 gallon bucket of olives for $20. I worked for hours and I never finished filling the bucket, but I learned the value of $20!
Be curious – I want our kids to ask questions, to wonder why their opinion is different than someone else’s, investigate their options, and question why things are the way they are. We live in a free democratic society and we’re all allowed to have our own opinions – lucky us! But for society to be productive and progressive, we should all be having meaningful conversations with people whose opinions we do not share. This is the most oft neglected responsibility of being an American, IMO. Put another way: I want our kids to learn to be interested, not interesting. This approach fosters trust, respect, admiration, and continued intellectual curiosity.
Travel – I believe the simplest way to teach our kids most of the values I’ve already mentioned – and the way I learned them myself – is to get outside of the comfort zones we grow accustom to. I don’t mean travel expeditions to exotic lands (although, I hope we can continue to afford those too). It might be something as simple as a family backpacking trip into nature or a weekend trip outside of the city and into rural areas and small towns. It’s about creating opportunities to be less dependent on the predictability of daily routine, the comfort of a best friend, or the safety of the parent-child relationship. For me, it eventually became most about the moments in which I felt alone and uncomfortable and was forced to adapt and do things a little differently. Those moments make you grow. They make you a little less sure of what you think you know, but ultimately more aware of and more comfortable in who you are.
I'll try to remember to add to this list as our baby grows.
Celebration of differences - Hopefully this won't be something we actively teach our kids as much as it will be something our kids are simply born into. I'm talking about something more than mere tolerance. I want our kids to have relationships with people who are different than them and I want them to celebrate those differences. There's something to be learned from every single person whose path you cross in life. If you're not listening to their experience and their perspective, you're missing out on an opportunity to make yourself a better person and to make the world a better place.
Tzedakah - This is one of my favorite concepts of Judaism. Tzedakah is like charity but it's different in a couple of key ways. Charity is an act of benevolence and generosity most often defined as an act of the rich to benefit the poor. Tzedakah is a duty that is performed out of righteousness and justice. Tzedakah is about fairness. The highest form of tzedakah is to give when neither party knows the other's identity, double anonymity. My favorite example of tzedakah is called peah. Peah is a farmer’s obligation to leave a corner of his field unharvested for the poor to take from.
Peah is not about giving just once or once a year, but systematically (e.g. every pay check, every month, every harvest, etc.). It's more about the consciousness (of the giver) than it is the amount. Another key element of Tzedakah is empathy. The farmer leaves the corner of the field so that the receiver may take on their own time (be self-reliant) without embarrassment. The receiver must take the trouble to harvest and earn their own gift, providing a sense of self-respect.
Graciousness/Kindness/Compassion - Our kids are going to be born into the American middle-class and that will make them richer and more fortunate than the vast majority of the rest of the world. When you're born into wealth, there is responsibility and I believe that responsibility goes beyond monetary generosity. I want our kids to not only understand their good fortune but to be truly informed by it. I want them to naturally behave with grace and tact and to treat people with respect and admiration, both here on American soil and around the world. No spoiled brats!
Hard work - When we went on our family vacation to Florida, I was around 12 years old and had spent the summer grudgingly working in the orchard. I was not happy that my "vacation" was spent in the hot Northern California sun, dirt under my fingernails, miles from the nearest swimming pool, with very little social interaction. Brian wasn't very happy about it either. But we were looking forward to our family vacation to Florida at the end of summer. When we finally landed in Orlando and made our way to the rental car pick-up, I thought there had been some sort of mistake when the car my parents rented turned out to be a convertible mustang. My dad said something like "surprise!" but I was totally unaware of what he was talking about. It turns out my Dad wanted to reward us for our hard work so instead of driving around in a Cutlas Supreme, he upgraded so that we could cruise in a convertible (my first-time). It was a good and simple lesson. Work hard for the things you want and you may even be surprised and end up with more than you were hoping for.
A similar story: I wanted a Pound Puppy stuffed animal one summer. I think they cost around $20. My dad said I could earn the money to buy the Pound Puppy by picking olives. He agreed to pay me what he paid the migrant workers who came every summer. It seemed simple. I would fill up the equivalent of a 5 gallon bucket of olives for $20. I worked for hours and I never finished filling the bucket, but I learned the value of $20!
Be curious – I want our kids to ask questions, to wonder why their opinion is different than someone else’s, investigate their options, and question why things are the way they are. We live in a free democratic society and we’re all allowed to have our own opinions – lucky us! But for society to be productive and progressive, we should all be having meaningful conversations with people whose opinions we do not share. This is the most oft neglected responsibility of being an American, IMO. Put another way: I want our kids to learn to be interested, not interesting. This approach fosters trust, respect, admiration, and continued intellectual curiosity.
Travel – I believe the simplest way to teach our kids most of the values I’ve already mentioned – and the way I learned them myself – is to get outside of the comfort zones we grow accustom to. I don’t mean travel expeditions to exotic lands (although, I hope we can continue to afford those too). It might be something as simple as a family backpacking trip into nature or a weekend trip outside of the city and into rural areas and small towns. It’s about creating opportunities to be less dependent on the predictability of daily routine, the comfort of a best friend, or the safety of the parent-child relationship. For me, it eventually became most about the moments in which I felt alone and uncomfortable and was forced to adapt and do things a little differently. Those moments make you grow. They make you a little less sure of what you think you know, but ultimately more aware of and more comfortable in who you are.
I'll try to remember to add to this list as our baby grows.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
The Nursery is finished!
We put the final touches on the nursery this weekend and can finally reveal the finished product! Pictures galore:
The elephant print Matt's parents gave us. It was in Matt's room all through childhood (until a month ago, in fact).
My nursing chair got a makeover with an extra cozy layer of fabric!
The view of Tray's room from our room. The two blankets on the end of the crib were hand knit/crocheted by my grandmother (bottom blanket) and my co-worker, Sandy (top). Both are beautiful and perfectly match the room!
A potential going home from the hospital outfit. Hat, booties, and onesie all purchased on Etsy!
The grey elephant is a hand-puppet and a gift from a very sweet co-worker, Dana! It came from her collection!
Beautiful organic cotton toys from a former co-worker, Frankye, and a sweet southern friend, Kristine!
Another potential going home from the hospital outfit. The hat was knit by my grandmother and the little booties are from my former boss, Helene!
The little wooden animals Matt purchased. Possible choking hazards so we'll keep them on the dresser for now! The grey elephant at the base of the plant was atop an adorable (and useful) diaper cake from my former boss, Barbara!
Book shelves and curtains from IKEA. My librarian/law friends bestowed wonderful books on us! Thanks Erin, Catherine, Sharon, Tina, Holly, and Monica!
My Kate Spade "diaper bag" and the polka-dot changing pad cover, both gifts from my Mom. The flag garland is also from Etsy!
The cutest humidifier ever! Thanks Amy!!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Week 34 check-up
We went in for our week 34 check-up and guess what? I'm now measuring "right about where I should be" and I gained 4 pounds in 2 weeks!? Say what? Let me get this straight, two weeks ago at my appointmet, I was measuring at least 3 weeks ahead and I'd only gained 2 pounds over the course of the month before. Now, I put on 4 pounds in half that amount of time and suddenly the size of my belly balances out?
Ahhhh, this is all so confusing and proof positive that there really is no one size fits all in pregnancy!
Ahhhh, this is all so confusing and proof positive that there really is no one size fits all in pregnancy!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Hormones
My pregnancy hormones got the best of me today. We were in Babies R Us, which is a terribly depressing place to begin with. We were looking at a co-sleeper bassinet thing to use for the first 3-4 months after Tray is born. Matt thought maybe we should wait to buy it to see if it became necessary (the other option is that we we're going to move the crib into our room). I guess I must have already made up my mind that we needed this thing because I suddenly became very unhappy that we weren't on the same page.
Acting out of some kind of urge I could not control, we bought the item and as soon as we got into the car, I had a breakdown. I seriously lost complete control of my emotions. I couldn't have stopped crying if I'd wanted to! This has never happened to me before. Normally I can calm myself down and breathe it out. Not this time! I was totally out of breath and the big crocodile tears kept coming!
Poor Matt! He has a crazy big emotionally unstable pregnant wife!
I'm fine now, by the way. :)
Acting out of some kind of urge I could not control, we bought the item and as soon as we got into the car, I had a breakdown. I seriously lost complete control of my emotions. I couldn't have stopped crying if I'd wanted to! This has never happened to me before. Normally I can calm myself down and breathe it out. Not this time! I was totally out of breath and the big crocodile tears kept coming!
Poor Matt! He has a crazy big emotionally unstable pregnant wife!
I'm fine now, by the way. :)
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tray: Our potentially larger than average baby
We went in for our ultrasound this morning. The good news is that Tray is healthy and well-developed with a strong heart rate (153). The other news is that Tray is apparently quite large. At 33 weeks, an average baby weighs 4.75 pounds. They're estimating Tray's weight at 6 pounds, which is the 95th percentile. Both my measurements and Tray's measurements are average for full-term (37 weeks). What does this mean?
Our OB is still not alarmed. She said there's a large margin of error in ultrasound results, especially further along in the pregnancy. Furthermore, this particular ultrasound company likes to overestimate their results. Their philosophy is that it's better to overestimate than to underestimate. Our OB said we needed to take the results "with a grain of salt." She's relatively confident that Tray will be bigger than average, but there's nothing else to suggest that Tray will be abnormally large.
I inquired about what her standard procedure is moving forward. She'll continue to measure my fundal height (as is normal) and she'll do a manual exam of Tray's size in a few weeks. If Tray seems to be getting even bigger, she might send us in for another ultrasound. Otherwise, my care will be consistent with a totally normal pregnancy (which, I suppose, it still is). I asked whether I'll be able to go into labor naturally. She said "absolutely" and went on to cite a recent study that shows that big babies who endure induced labors do NOT fare better, as was originally thought. She also said that she and her colleagues would do absolutely everything possible to avoid a c-section and would be diligent about not "throwing in the towel too early."
My doula had a 10 pound baby and she's a bean pole and a marathoner. She doesn't want me to worry but suggested that I might ask my OB about practicing some self-induction methods around 37 weeks or so. We will certainly consider her advice very seriously if I don't happen to go into labor before then.
There are a lot of things that are really confusing about why I might be having a larger than average baby. I don't have gestational diabetes (in fact, my OB said my glucose results were "fantastic"). I'm not big and Matt isn't big. I've gained only 18 pounds overall, apparently 6 of which are baby and another few are extra amniotic fluid, which doesn't leave a lot for me, my uterus, my boobs, etc. (there have been studies that show women who gain a lot of weight in pregnancy have bigger babies). I was a big baby but that's because I was nearly 3 weeks late. Brian wasn't a big baby. Matt wasn't a big baby and neither was Sam.
Big sigh. Today was hellish but the best part was when we got to see our baby again:
Our OB is still not alarmed. She said there's a large margin of error in ultrasound results, especially further along in the pregnancy. Furthermore, this particular ultrasound company likes to overestimate their results. Their philosophy is that it's better to overestimate than to underestimate. Our OB said we needed to take the results "with a grain of salt." She's relatively confident that Tray will be bigger than average, but there's nothing else to suggest that Tray will be abnormally large.
I inquired about what her standard procedure is moving forward. She'll continue to measure my fundal height (as is normal) and she'll do a manual exam of Tray's size in a few weeks. If Tray seems to be getting even bigger, she might send us in for another ultrasound. Otherwise, my care will be consistent with a totally normal pregnancy (which, I suppose, it still is). I asked whether I'll be able to go into labor naturally. She said "absolutely" and went on to cite a recent study that shows that big babies who endure induced labors do NOT fare better, as was originally thought. She also said that she and her colleagues would do absolutely everything possible to avoid a c-section and would be diligent about not "throwing in the towel too early."
My doula had a 10 pound baby and she's a bean pole and a marathoner. She doesn't want me to worry but suggested that I might ask my OB about practicing some self-induction methods around 37 weeks or so. We will certainly consider her advice very seriously if I don't happen to go into labor before then.
There are a lot of things that are really confusing about why I might be having a larger than average baby. I don't have gestational diabetes (in fact, my OB said my glucose results were "fantastic"). I'm not big and Matt isn't big. I've gained only 18 pounds overall, apparently 6 of which are baby and another few are extra amniotic fluid, which doesn't leave a lot for me, my uterus, my boobs, etc. (there have been studies that show women who gain a lot of weight in pregnancy have bigger babies). I was a big baby but that's because I was nearly 3 weeks late. Brian wasn't a big baby. Matt wasn't a big baby and neither was Sam.
Big sigh. Today was hellish but the best part was when we got to see our baby again:
Tray's profile
Tray's little piggy foot
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Still Measuring Big
We went in for our regular check-up on Friday and learned that I'm still measuring big (even bigger than last time). I reached the "magic #" that mandates another ultrasound. So, this coming week we'll be going back in for our 3rd ultrasound of my pregnancy (the first since week 20) to see what's going on with Tray. My OB still isn't worried. I believe she's just being conservative in ordering this ultrasound. Our doula was with us at Friday's appointment and she also did not seem worried. Yet it's hard for me to not be worried. Par for the course, I suppose.
I'll be sure to post an update when we know more.
I'll be sure to post an update when we know more.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
32 weeks
I apologize for being so slow with the updates here! I still need to write about my awesome Seattle baby shower and our final additions to the nursery. Matt's parents are here now though so lengthy updates will have to wait.
Meanwhile, here's a photo from this morning.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Quick Thoughts for a Sleepy Friday Morning
My last Mother's Day as a non-mother didn't really register. I can't put my finger on why exactly. Lately I've spent a lot of time thinking about how much emphasis is put on pregnancy and, later, labor and how easy it is to be unprepared for the actual parenting part because you're so caught up in researching the former.
Granted getting this kid out of me does seem like a really big deal right now and I really want to have a satisfying labor experience. And I want so badly for the end result to be a healthy baby (who I'm already in love with) placed on my chest, eye-to-eye contact. The hard part is truly understanding that from that point forward, your work is cut out for you and there's absolutely no turning back.
Right now I'm trying to get used to this idea in simplified terms. I've been tired a lot lately because I haven't been sleeping well due to back pain, heartburn, etc. Every night I think, "maybe tonight I'll finally feel rested." But I'm forcing myself to come to terms with the reality that it's entirely possible I may feel tired like this right up until I give birth. And, thereafter? Pure exhaustion will be the special of the day - everyday.
I can only assume that you get through it because you've never loved so much or felt so scared of f*ing up!
Granted getting this kid out of me does seem like a really big deal right now and I really want to have a satisfying labor experience. And I want so badly for the end result to be a healthy baby (who I'm already in love with) placed on my chest, eye-to-eye contact. The hard part is truly understanding that from that point forward, your work is cut out for you and there's absolutely no turning back.
Right now I'm trying to get used to this idea in simplified terms. I've been tired a lot lately because I haven't been sleeping well due to back pain, heartburn, etc. Every night I think, "maybe tonight I'll finally feel rested." But I'm forcing myself to come to terms with the reality that it's entirely possible I may feel tired like this right up until I give birth. And, thereafter? Pure exhaustion will be the special of the day - everyday.
I can only assume that you get through it because you've never loved so much or felt so scared of f*ing up!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
31 weeks
Lots to report, including another baby shower, but I may not have the chance until this weekend or next week. My family just left Monday and Matt's parents arrive tomorrow. In the meantime, here's the latest photo (from this morning). Not the most flattering dress but VERY comfortable!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
28 week check-up
Friday we went in for our 28 week check-up with our OB. Everything looks great! Our OB says I'm doing a "great job" with my weight gain. Hopefully I do a "great job" with my weight loss too! :)
My glucose test came back negative, which rules out the possibility that we (Tray and I) could have gestational diabetes. This was one of the possible explanations for why I was measuring big the last couple of visits. I'm actually still measuring big (2 weeks ahead of where I should be) but our OB says she isn't worried about it at all. This is hugely reassuring!
I asked her why/how I could possibly be measuring big. I don't feel big. I don't think I look big. I've gained exactly the right amount of weight (averaging 1 pound per week since a couple of months ago). She thinks I'm hiding my pregnancy well, probably as a result of being in good shape with strong stomach muscles. This may also explain why many people think I'm carrying high: lower stomach muscles hold up the pregnant belly. So, the reality is that I'm bigger than I look. I guess that's better than being smaller than I look...
The other good news we learned at Friday's visit is that I am not anemic! Evidently, it is very common for pregnant women to be anemic by this stage in their pregnancy. My iron levels are perfect! Everyone should thank Matt for this. He makes sure I eat leafy greens every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, and it's paying off!
My glucose test came back negative, which rules out the possibility that we (Tray and I) could have gestational diabetes. This was one of the possible explanations for why I was measuring big the last couple of visits. I'm actually still measuring big (2 weeks ahead of where I should be) but our OB says she isn't worried about it at all. This is hugely reassuring!
I asked her why/how I could possibly be measuring big. I don't feel big. I don't think I look big. I've gained exactly the right amount of weight (averaging 1 pound per week since a couple of months ago). She thinks I'm hiding my pregnancy well, probably as a result of being in good shape with strong stomach muscles. This may also explain why many people think I'm carrying high: lower stomach muscles hold up the pregnant belly. So, the reality is that I'm bigger than I look. I guess that's better than being smaller than I look...
The other good news we learned at Friday's visit is that I am not anemic! Evidently, it is very common for pregnant women to be anemic by this stage in their pregnancy. My iron levels are perfect! Everyone should thank Matt for this. He makes sure I eat leafy greens every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, and it's paying off!
28 weeks
Our California Trip
Last weekend we made the trip to California to spend time with my family and be honored at a baby shower hosted by Liz & Brian (sister-in-law and brother), Grandma, and my parents. I was really looking forward to our time in CA and it did not disappoint!
We made out like bandits at the shower! We received the most adorable, thoughtfully chosen gifts! From onesies and receiving blankets, to washcloths and books, to a hand knit baby blanket with booties and a hat, Tray is now well equipped for the first weeks and months of life! And with all of the gift cards that were so generously bestowed on us, we cannot wait to go shopping for the rest of our baby necessities!
The theme of the shower was "nesting" and Liz went all out with little edible birds nests, edible eggs, matching stationery, etc. The entire event took place outside thanks to the lovely weather (80 degrees, sunny, and absolutely no wind). We felt so loved!
Returning to WA was a little melancholy. The weather did not measure up (does it ever?) and the reality that we live so far away from all of our family who love us so dearly was painfully apparent. I spent all day Monday washing and folding all of Tray's new clothes, etc. I haven't been really emotional in my pregnancy thus far but Monday was tough for me. Organizing and putting away all of the little onesies and sleep sacks made me realize just how tiny Tray is going to be and what a huge responsibility we are taking on. My parents gave us the book When You Were Very Small and I now can't read it without crying!
I have so much love for this kid in my belly!
Ending on a more light-hearted note: a close family friend performed an old gender-predicting test for the amusement of our shower guests. The test was a variation on the popular ring-on-a-string-over-your-belly. This test was a #2 pencil hung by the eraser from a needle and thread. The pencil swings over the wrist. The direction it swings determines the gender. The verdict? BOY! :)
We made out like bandits at the shower! We received the most adorable, thoughtfully chosen gifts! From onesies and receiving blankets, to washcloths and books, to a hand knit baby blanket with booties and a hat, Tray is now well equipped for the first weeks and months of life! And with all of the gift cards that were so generously bestowed on us, we cannot wait to go shopping for the rest of our baby necessities!
The theme of the shower was "nesting" and Liz went all out with little edible birds nests, edible eggs, matching stationery, etc. The entire event took place outside thanks to the lovely weather (80 degrees, sunny, and absolutely no wind). We felt so loved!
Returning to WA was a little melancholy. The weather did not measure up (does it ever?) and the reality that we live so far away from all of our family who love us so dearly was painfully apparent. I spent all day Monday washing and folding all of Tray's new clothes, etc. I haven't been really emotional in my pregnancy thus far but Monday was tough for me. Organizing and putting away all of the little onesies and sleep sacks made me realize just how tiny Tray is going to be and what a huge responsibility we are taking on. My parents gave us the book When You Were Very Small and I now can't read it without crying!
I have so much love for this kid in my belly!
Tray's new born and 3 month clothes
Tray's 6-9 month clothes
Tray's receiving blankets and washcloths
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